I met my husband in a big event in the Philippines, January 2007. But we started going out February of the same year. I was 26 then and my husband was 35. We became friends since I also work in that event. Anyway, to make the long story short, one day, he told me, “I like you a lot", in Korean. Communication was not that easy since I can speak only basic Korean and his English is not enough to express deeper vocabulary. But I felt that we were in love. He asked me to marry him and move to Korea. I said yes to both. I didn’t feel any hesitation about living with him in another country. I consider myself mature enough to live the married life. So, as a result, I moved and arrived in Korea in the same year that I met him.
I am aware of the adjustments that I have to do as soon as arrived in Korea. I learned from the Daughters of Saint Paul (a Catholic congregation in the Philippines) that in order to learn, one should unlearn first. I kept this principle in mind to help me in my adjustment to a new country and a new phase in life. The biggest challenge for me as a spouse of a Korean is to know South Korean culture. Some of the arguments during my first year of stay in Korea were caused by the difference in culture specifically the language. So, I really gave my best effort to know this country.
Now, I am completely into Korean culture and language. I am maintaining a website called KoreanFood101.com (http://www.koreanfood101.com) to educate and motivate myself about Korean food and its culture. It is more exciting than I expected. I am also maintaining a blog called “Living in Korea” (http://blog.daum.net/ksharon) at Daum. All blog entries are written in Korean to enhance my skills in writing using Korean language. I am also attending a Korean class for multicultural families to be connected to other foreign housewives. I think meeting other foreign housewives is one of the best ways to adopt and adjust as a Korean spouse. Because of these activities, I discovered that South Korea is a wonderful country with lovely people, rich culture and healthy food. I even voiced out in a Korean newspaper (Korean Herald, English, and they published it in 2008) about how I love South Korean food as well as my willingness to love this country for the sake of my husband.
Now, my husband and I have been together for over 3 years. We are still in love with each other. It’s not that we do not fight. Sure we have little arguments, and even big ones, but the way to handle problems should be respectful. My husband is the most respectful and caring person I have ever seen in my life. Friends told us that we are like a newlywed couple because we are always excited to see each other and exchange sweet phone talks and messages. They are always asking about our secret. And I always tell them that it is nothing than pure true love with an extreme amount of respect. The first thing he taught me when I arrived here in Korea is to always display respectful gestures and use polite Korean expressions.
With this kind of man, what else can I ask for? Married life with him is amazing. I am very grateful that God gave this kind of man to me. Even though there is no such thing as perfect, to me he is truly a perfect husband and soul mate. Perhaps, he is not very smart and romantic but he has three adorable qualities – CARING, LOVING, and RESPECTFUL.
As for the tips to other foreign housewives, I think one of the best ways to a successful marriage is to spend time together to know each other’s character. No one can tell you how to keep the marriage stronger because each person is different regardless of race.
As for me, I have concrete ways to please my husband: (1) I always say “I love You” before sleeping; (2) I always give him a kiss and a hug before he goes to work; (3) I always greet him with sweet smile when he comes back home; (4) I always use the polite Korean expressions to him even in the house (he told me to do so and he is also using polite expressions to me; (5) I do not go out with friends if my husband is at home.
Lastly, the best way to be successful in everything is to give your 100% and that is what I am giving to my husband now.
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