To deepen our knowledge of what Multi-Cultural Marriages or International Marriages is all about, one must not confine him-self or herself in what the papers say but to actually gather infor-mation, opinions and even experiences from those people who are actually living under the circumstances. Here‘s an experience of a sim-ple lady married to a Korean and how she was able to cope up with her new life.
Her name is Veronica Viray, but I‘m fond of calling her Nica and others call her Vero. She‘s 36 years old, hails from Penafrancia, Cupang, Antipolo City. She worked as a secretary, care-giver and teacher in the Philippines. In March 10, 2003 she came to Korea and got married on November 9, 2003, seven months after her arrival. But on November 30, 2008 they had their Church Wedding.
She said, she met her Korean husband through the Unification Church or what they called Moonis who matches Korean men to foreign women whom she said wanted to build a foundation of a unified and fulfilled family.
As early as 2001 her friend encouraged her to join the church and marry a Korean while she‘s training as a care-giver. She said her first inten-tion is to go abroad, get a job and to have a new adventure in life. She said she doesn‘t have any idea of Korea and what its people really like. All she knew was they are economically stable and they want things in order and are very fast. At first she was burdened with fears and wor-ries because she doesn‘t know what lies ahead for her. But she said there is a Big God in her heart
When she came to Korea in March 2003, she met her husband on the following month of April. And before starting a family the Unifica-tion Church set the 6 months program and trainings for the Korean wives. With these, she studied the Korean language, learned Korean dishes especially kimchi. And also studied the Korean culture, tradition and their national holidays.
She met a lot of people like halmeoni (grandma) harabeoji (grandpa), ajumma from the neighborhood and people from the Multi-cultural Support Center. These people helped her a lot and taught her how to transact business like matters in the bank and others. Her sister in law assisted her whenever she visited the doc-tor. These people, she said became the instru-ment of God and her strength to be able to adapt and live her life in Korea.
In her seven years of marriage, she encoun-tered a lot of problems and that she said she was tested by fire. At first, they were having problems in communication for they did not pass through the stage of getting to know each other. She said all she knew about her husband is that he is a man of few words and seldom speaks. And all they did was sign language and took a lot of patience before they finally under-stood themselves. And she said that the ―language of love‖ is the best communication.
With the Korean food, she found it hard to eat their spicy and smelly kimchi but with the insistence of her extended family she learned to appreciate it. Through this she was able to learn the value of appreciating things and how it will affect the other party in return. The beauty that lies within in one‘s self by learning how to accept and appreciate things.
And third is about financial matter. When they were just starting, she said that her hus-band kept many secrets from her. She cannot
even see his passbook or his salary, and she felt that she is nothing as a wife. Her husband is the one handling the money matters at home. When she was a little girl she was able to manage her ―baon‖ and save from it by putting in her piggy bank.
Her husband gave her money to spend for her personal needs and she made an accounting of everything she bought and showed it to her husband. Finally she made her husband trust her and now she‘s the one managing their fi-nances and they talk about money matters too and even gave his monthly salary to her. But she said she still gives him space and freedom in this aspect because she also wanted the same.
Nica said one of the things she loves in Ko-rea is the four (4) seasons especially the winter and spring season. She loves winter because of the snow, though in her first three years she felt uncomfortable wearing 3 layers of clothing and boots since she was not used to it, but now together with their children she enjoyed playing in the snow, making snowman and snowball. While during spring season, she loves to look at the trees and flowers starting to bloom. She said, watching them bloom makes her soul refreshed.
When asked what advice she can give to her fellow Filipina who wants to marry Koreans or other foreign nationals, she said she will ask first what is their definition of marriage. And only from the answers given she can base her advice. But definitely she must have a sense of commitment and matured enough to weigh things around her. The most important thing is she must have a deep relationships with God who will strengthen her when troubles come and whom she can depend on.
With all these, she thinks cultural differences especially in marriage would not be a problem but a challenge to have and live a happy life.
Her name is Veronica Viray, but I‘m fond of calling her Nica and others call her Vero. She‘s 36 years old, hails from Penafrancia, Cupang, Antipolo City. She worked as a secretary, care-giver and teacher in the Philippines. In March 10, 2003 she came to Korea and got married on November 9, 2003, seven months after her arrival. But on November 30, 2008 they had their Church Wedding.
She said, she met her Korean husband through the Unification Church or what they called Moonis who matches Korean men to foreign women whom she said wanted to build a foundation of a unified and fulfilled family.
As early as 2001 her friend encouraged her to join the church and marry a Korean while she‘s training as a care-giver. She said her first inten-tion is to go abroad, get a job and to have a new adventure in life. She said she doesn‘t have any idea of Korea and what its people really like. All she knew was they are economically stable and they want things in order and are very fast. At first she was burdened with fears and wor-ries because she doesn‘t know what lies ahead for her. But she said there is a Big God in her heart
When she came to Korea in March 2003, she met her husband on the following month of April. And before starting a family the Unifica-tion Church set the 6 months program and trainings for the Korean wives. With these, she studied the Korean language, learned Korean dishes especially kimchi. And also studied the Korean culture, tradition and their national holidays.
She met a lot of people like halmeoni (grandma) harabeoji (grandpa), ajumma from the neighborhood and people from the Multi-cultural Support Center. These people helped her a lot and taught her how to transact business like matters in the bank and others. Her sister in law assisted her whenever she visited the doc-tor. These people, she said became the instru-ment of God and her strength to be able to adapt and live her life in Korea.
In her seven years of marriage, she encoun-tered a lot of problems and that she said she was tested by fire. At first, they were having problems in communication for they did not pass through the stage of getting to know each other. She said all she knew about her husband is that he is a man of few words and seldom speaks. And all they did was sign language and took a lot of patience before they finally under-stood themselves. And she said that the ―language of love‖ is the best communication.
With the Korean food, she found it hard to eat their spicy and smelly kimchi but with the insistence of her extended family she learned to appreciate it. Through this she was able to learn the value of appreciating things and how it will affect the other party in return. The beauty that lies within in one‘s self by learning how to accept and appreciate things.
And third is about financial matter. When they were just starting, she said that her hus-band kept many secrets from her. She cannot
even see his passbook or his salary, and she felt that she is nothing as a wife. Her husband is the one handling the money matters at home. When she was a little girl she was able to manage her ―baon‖ and save from it by putting in her piggy bank.
Her husband gave her money to spend for her personal needs and she made an accounting of everything she bought and showed it to her husband. Finally she made her husband trust her and now she‘s the one managing their fi-nances and they talk about money matters too and even gave his monthly salary to her. But she said she still gives him space and freedom in this aspect because she also wanted the same.
Nica said one of the things she loves in Ko-rea is the four (4) seasons especially the winter and spring season. She loves winter because of the snow, though in her first three years she felt uncomfortable wearing 3 layers of clothing and boots since she was not used to it, but now together with their children she enjoyed playing in the snow, making snowman and snowball. While during spring season, she loves to look at the trees and flowers starting to bloom. She said, watching them bloom makes her soul refreshed.
When asked what advice she can give to her fellow Filipina who wants to marry Koreans or other foreign nationals, she said she will ask first what is their definition of marriage. And only from the answers given she can base her advice. But definitely she must have a sense of commitment and matured enough to weigh things around her. The most important thing is she must have a deep relationships with God who will strengthen her when troubles come and whom she can depend on.
With all these, she thinks cultural differences especially in marriage would not be a problem but a challenge to have and live a happy life.
